undecided: "This Injustice" or "Canvas God"?
Your face is hidden, faded behind
that wooden sullen pulpit.
I think we miss, or make, rearrange
who it is we'll worship.
Did we turn 'round
that smile upside down?--
why the painted frown?
Painted; that's what it is.
Endangered; that's what we've done.
Have you seen the laughing God? the Father of delights?
the dancing Love
whose tune we've seem to
turn down,
if not (mute).
-i'd really love to hear your thghts about this one, and not only on a literary note..
that wooden sullen pulpit.
I think we miss, or make, rearrange
who it is we'll worship.
Did we turn 'round
that smile upside down?--
why the painted frown?
Painted; that's what it is.
Endangered; that's what we've done.
Have you seen the laughing God? the Father of delights?
the dancing Love
whose tune we've seem to
turn down,
if not (mute).
-i'd really love to hear your thghts about this one, and not only on a literary note..
posted by valerie salerie at 10:07 PM
2 Comments:
it's up to you, but Canvas God would be my vote (it goes with the whole "painted" thing). this is really different from your usual poems. This one feels more organic and has a more flexible structure. I found the "you"s confusing since it seems to refer to God at the beginning and the reader at the end...
Hey Val,
I like it. I thought of the "you" at the beginning as an actual pastor - a comment on how we paste our religious beliefs on top of our actual selves and fail to act real with each other, even pastors. I like how you used the form to break up lines and emphasize certain parts. It really adds to the feel of the poem.
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