Death II
When you are choosing Christ and the cross, you are choosing death." -Vivek Mukhopadhyoy
we no longer live, but rise and soar to unchartered heights with Christ!
like the river lolling over the mouths of grass,
i am drinking this in. And
how the colours sting my eyes with ineffable sweetness,
i perceive for the first time--i see the Lord, and He is beautiful!--with loose scales by my feet and praises on my lips
Be! He says, and i have become.
Follow Me! He gestures, and i leave my perishable self for an unusual exchange:
Life. LIVE! -and i do, breathing once and breathing again
for once, my lungs do not ache, for once, my hands are not stained, for once, my body is not bound.
Be! He says, and i have become
free.
i've been thinking about how to write about the resurrected life we have in Christ for some time. the last time i was at DPS, someone wrote a poem written about death, (sorry i don't remember the name of the author!) and a comment made about Hook's "death is the only adventure" quote gave me some ideas. this poem is titled "Death II" b/c the first one is my spin on our talk about strange niceness and life around death and funerals (maybe i'll put that on another time) but i also like Noah's idea about writing poetry with intentional progression. so after i wrote the first Death, i decided to write my second one about death to ourselves through Jesus. and last Sunday, an Indian missionary spoke at Ferndale and mentionned something very profound about death to ourselves when we choose Christ (hence the starting quote), and that was the final catalyst for this poem. (long story--kudos for readers who are still with me)
i didnt' want to make Death II sound like a sermon, but i really wanted to write about the freedom that Christ gives, and decided to put it in first person to show that (b/c i think freedom is best described from the experience of the freed).
i think something is missing from my poem thoughi think i've said all i've meant to say in the stanzas, and i'm trying to try poems that are not as lengthy, but it seems incomplete.. what do you guys think?
we no longer live, but rise and soar to unchartered heights with Christ!
like the river lolling over the mouths of grass,
i am drinking this in. And
how the colours sting my eyes with ineffable sweetness,
i perceive for the first time--i see the Lord, and He is beautiful!--with loose scales by my feet and praises on my lips
Be! He says, and i have become.
Follow Me! He gestures, and i leave my perishable self for an unusual exchange:
Life. LIVE! -and i do, breathing once and breathing again
for once, my lungs do not ache, for once, my hands are not stained, for once, my body is not bound.
Be! He says, and i have become
free.
i've been thinking about how to write about the resurrected life we have in Christ for some time. the last time i was at DPS, someone wrote a poem written about death, (sorry i don't remember the name of the author!) and a comment made about Hook's "death is the only adventure" quote gave me some ideas. this poem is titled "Death II" b/c the first one is my spin on our talk about strange niceness and life around death and funerals (maybe i'll put that on another time) but i also like Noah's idea about writing poetry with intentional progression. so after i wrote the first Death, i decided to write my second one about death to ourselves through Jesus. and last Sunday, an Indian missionary spoke at Ferndale and mentionned something very profound about death to ourselves when we choose Christ (hence the starting quote), and that was the final catalyst for this poem. (long story--kudos for readers who are still with me)
i didnt' want to make Death II sound like a sermon, but i really wanted to write about the freedom that Christ gives, and decided to put it in first person to show that (b/c i think freedom is best described from the experience of the freed).
i think something is missing from my poem thoughi think i've said all i've meant to say in the stanzas, and i'm trying to try poems that are not as lengthy, but it seems incomplete.. what do you guys think?
posted by valerie salerie at 11:44 AM
4 Comments:
Val, last stanza...brilliant! I like the interesting way you divided up your lines in interesting shaped pieces rather than cookie-cutter 6 sylable verses. The only thing I would change is in line 7: "I see the Lord, and He is beautiful", somehow that line seems a little out of place, I don't think you really need it. Anyway, congrats on being brave enough to stray from your usual nature theme ;).
Yeah, the two greatest things about this are that it doesn't sound like anuything you've written (that I've read) before, and that it is such a heartfelt experience of worship.
It's surprisingly rosey for a poem about death... it seems to focus more on the new life than on the death to self, but then again, the new life is the most important part of the equation. You should read Holy Sonnet 10 (Death be not Proud) by John Donne. You'll like it.
i will miss the DPS meetings! :(
Erin, i think i agree w/ what you said, after reading it again after what you said.. i'm going to change that verse to
"i perceive for the first time--HIM--with loose scales by my feet and praises on my lips"
thnx ;) see you guys around
YESSSSSSSS....I love that! Val, I will miss you at our DPS meetings (luckily you live one floor above me so we can still hang out).
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